You Can Forgive by Not Forgetting
As believers, how can we forgive others when they have wronged us and there are still scars? In Genesis 50:15-21, Joseph gives a great example that "You Can Forgive by Not Forgetting." October 9, 2011.
The storyline screams with intrigue for reality TV, captivating fans of Big Brother, Survivor, and Undercover Boss. Imagine Joseph’s brothers being interviewed about selling him into slavery. “We hated him because dad loved him best.” “That fancy robe drove us crazy.” “He just got carried away with those dreams.” And then they explain how they pulled it off: “We thought about killing him, but Rueben said no.” “So we stripped his robe off, tossed him in a pit to teach him a lesson.” “And then these Ishmaelites came along.” “Yeah—so we sold him.” “20 shekels!” What they don’t realize, but the TV producers do, is that the little, bothersome brother they sold into slavery climbed the corporate ladder in Egypt more quickly, and more powerfully, than Steve Jobs at Apple. So the TV show brings Joseph back to meet his brothers, and the interviewer provokes them, “Well, guys, what do you have to say now to your brother, the ruler of Egypt?” as Joseph strides in wearing gold jewelry and royal make-up, flanked between bulky body guards bronzed by the sun. The interviewer turns to the camera, “Father is dead, so now how will the score really be settled?” The cameras zoom in. The music engineer behind the scenes cues the Egyptian drums. Baboom! Baboom! Baboom! The brothers drop to the ground in desperation and bow just like the sheaves of grain in young Joseph’s dream. Joseph stands over them, and with a tear in his eye lifts up each one with a loving embrace, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.”
You might be thinking it would be easy for you to forgive your siblings, too, or your spouse, or your friend, if the harm they did to you ended up promoting you to become CEO or governor or American Idol. But the story behind the story is that Joseph’s heart had already forgiven his brothers long before he was recruited to Egypt’s top position under Pharaoh. No, he hadn’t totally deleted the megabytes of bad memories from his head. He’s human after all, just like you. The vivid images of your alcoholic father or oppressive boss, or less-than-Christian actions of an apparently Christian church make it hard to forgive. Yet as a Bible believer, you struggle because your conscience calls you to forgive…but the scars. They won’t go away. How can you forgive when there are scars? You Can Forgive by Not Forgetting.
At first that may sound like not letting go of the evil someone has done to you. Never forget how he made you feel. Make her pay for what she said. “If that’s how you treated me, then this is how I’m treating you.” Husbands stonewall their wives. Wives nag, nag, nag their husbands. Coworkers rip each other apart with rumors that ruin reputations. Exes curse each other in front of the kids. Facebook posts get nasty. The Bible says take revenge on those who hurt you and God will unleash his revenge on you. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger…because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient” (Ephesians 4:31,5:6).
How can you forgive when there are scars? You Can Forgive by Not Forgetting. As Joseph takes the initiative at reconciling, he doesn’t shy away from remembering, “You intended to harm me!” “See my scars?” Joseph doesn’t pretend that he’s invulnerable to their evil. He recalls that his brothers overpowered him—then he chooses not to do the same to them. He chooses forgiveness. He blesses the ones who cursed him. He gives grain to the ones who ripped off his robe. He prays for the ones who mistreated him. He warmly presses his cheek against the faces of those who pounded their fists against his. He provides for the children of those who robbed him of his childhood. But what about the scars?
Joseph knew all about scars. And he knew they didn’t just go away. Although his head told him to strike back, Joseph practiced the words of Jesus, “forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). In his heart Joseph, by faith, found the forgiveness of a merciful God. You see, Joseph hadn’t been without blame in his own sold-into-slavery saga. Joseph could have dealt a bit more delicately with his dreams, and could have flaunted his “favorite” status a bit less frequently in front of his brothers, don’t you agree? But Joseph’s merciful God didn’t strip him of those gifts that most likely made him Dad’s favorite son, because they later made him a favorite in Potiphar’s house, in prison, and ultimately in the leadership of the world’s most powerful empire. Joseph’s scars give him a deeper appreciation for God’s loving mercy, a deeper recognition of his God’s gracious gifts, and a deeper desire to forgive his brothers. Joseph was able to be merciful to others because his heavenly Father was merciful to him.
God uses your scars to show you his mercy and his gracious gifts, and to allow you to share your mercy and gifts with others. And God doesn’t just use your scars, but also his own. You Can Forgive by Not Forgetting God’s scars. Christian writer Philip Yancey puts it in perspective in his book The Jesus I Never Knew.
Presumably [Jesus] could have had any resurrected body he wanted, and yet he chose one identifiable mainly by scars that could be seen and touched. Why? I believe the story of Easter would be incomplete without those scars on the hands, the feet and the side of Jesus…I take hope in Jesus’ scars…they represent the most horrible event that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Even that event, though—the crucifixion—Easter turned into a memory. Because of Easter, I can hope that the tears we shed, the blows we receive, the emotional pain, the heartache over lost friends and loved ones, all these will become memories, like Jesus’ scars. Scars never completely go away, but neither do they hurt any longer. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1995, 219)
We, fellow believers, are scarred and “scarrable” creatures of this earth, just like Jesus when he was born, suffered, and died. Just like Joseph. But we also are healed and healable children of heaven, just like Jesus when he rose from the dead. Just like Joseph. The scars may never go away, but they are meant to help us better be loved, and love others, be forgiven, and forgive others—all of whom God, because of his scars, has forgiven. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Amen.
Preached at Grace Lutheran Church, Milwaukee, WI (www.gracedowntown.org) on October 9, 2011
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