God's Design For Marriage Endures
In the gospel from Mark 10:2-12, Jesus is confronted by self-righteous enemies who asked him a question about marriage and divorce, hoping Jesus would say something which the crowds of people didn't like. Instead, the Savior cut right to the heart of the matter as "God's design for marriage endures." October 18, 2009.
Some of you might be wondering if you should stay and listen to this sermon. You might assume that, since the worship theme and the gospel for the day are all about marriage, the sermon simply won’t apply to you. After all, of the eleven hundred members of our congregation fully fifty percent are single, and of the five hundred or so Grace members between the ages of twenty and fifty twenty percent are single. But if you are single and thinking about leaving, I’d like you to hold on for a minute.
The Scriptures have something to say about governing rulers, but very few of you are governing rulers. The Scriptures have something to say about parents, but not all of you are parents. The Scriptures have something to say about young children, but not all of you are children. The Scriptures have something to say about employers, but not all of you are bosses. Yet, whatever God says in Scripture to a certain group becomes a concern for us all. You see, our top priority in life is to honor God, and we do that by remaining in a faith-filled relationship with him and helping others do the same. So when we learn what God says in his Word to a certain group of people, even though those words might not apply directly to us, we have a responsibility to offer support and encouragement to others so that they honor God by doing what he wants. For that reason, as Christians, we will want to do everything we can to uphold and foster God’s will for employers and employees, for governing authorities and citizens, for parents and children, for single people and married people.
In the gospel for this day, from Mark chapter ten, Jesus is confronted by self-righteous enemies who asked him a question about marriage and divorce, hoping Jesus would say something which the crowds of people didn’t like. Instead, the Savior cut right to the heart of the matter as God’s design for marriage endures.
An intimate union
Our grandson likes to work on puzzles. When he visited last, he was progressing from the puzzles where you put a star in a star box and a rectangle in a rectangle box to puzzles that might be considered a kid’s jigsaw puzzle. Grandpa got to show him that the easiest way to build a puzzle like that is to look for the corner pieces, then the border pieces, and then all the other pieces will fit together usually by matching colors and chunks of the picture – Mickey Mouse’s ears or Lightning McQueen headlights. He learned in fairly short order that sometimes you match two pieces, and you begin to wonder, “Do these two pieces really fit? Will they stay together?” But pretty soon other pairs of pieces are assembled and little sections of the puzzle start taking shape. Then you can see that the original pair meshes perfectly and fits the puzzle’s big picture.
That’s how God’s design for marriage works. On the sixth day of creation God brought together two different people, one man and one woman, to form a matched pair. Neither male nor female is better or worse than the other, but like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle God designed them to supplement and complement one another in marriage.
God also designed marriage to be such a close union that the relationship between a husband and wife soars above and beyond any other ties to any other person. So, if you are married, the bond with your spouse is to be closer and more important than the connection with your parents and closer and more important than the connection with your children. Jesus quoted God’s design from the first book of Scripture, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.”
This intimate union brings happy results. When God said, “The two will become one flesh”, he not only granted a husband and wife the blessing of physical oneness reserved only for married people, but also designed marriage to include a common purpose and common direction, a mutual sharing of ideas and goals, aims and ambitions. Two streams merge into a gently flowing river. Two puzzle pieces fit together to fill an important role in the total picture. Whether you are married or not, you have to admit that the union which God designed for marriage is a masterful plan and a delightful sight when put into practice.
We all know what can hurt such a union. A lack of communication or a dominating spirit in one of the partners can cause a husband or wife to get lost in the jumble of his or her own separate interests, like two puzzle pieces at opposite sides of the table. The self-centered, sinful nature inside can turn “What can I do for you?” into “You better do this for me!” Then, instead of unity too often there are spats and nit-picky arguments. Instead of contentment there is “I don’t like this” and “I want that!” Instead of cooperative conversation there are complaints and quarrels. A lack of clear, honest communication has been the ruin of many a marriage relationship, to say nothing of other relationships a person might have at home, at school, or at work.
What do we do about that? For all our miscommunication and for all our selfishness we fall on our knees and humbly beg God for mercy. Then we put our sin-sick souls on the first jet to Jerusalem to witness not another Middle-East conflict but to witness once again the battle between the Son of God and Satan. There on Golgotha we see again the gory story of God himself gone to Gehenna to gain for us a not-guilty verdict. And there in a Jerusalem cemetery we hear the angelic announcement that a living Lord gives us power to live our lives for him. Only by that mercy through Jesus will married people be able to repair the dents and fender benders from flying down the freeway of married life in the fast lane. Only by that mercy will single people be able to offer to their married friends what is needed most – stated so beautifully by the apostle Paul, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness from Jesus and power from his resurrection are the only true basis for retaining and restoring God’s design for marriage as a true intimate union.
An undivided union
When you work on a jigsaw puzzle with a child or work on an adult-sized one, it’s exciting to see the pieces come together so the picture starts taking shape. What a disappointment when a big breeze comes through the window and clusters of pieces flutter to the floor! It takes hours to put together what it took seconds to destroy. But in the end the finished picture seems worth all the effort. Each piece has its place. You almost want to laminate the whole deal and hang it on the wall.
That’s what God wants for marriage. He designed marriage to be an undivided union, not something easily blown apart by someone’s whim and fancy. God gave Eve to Adam as a lifelong partner. What God planned for Adam and Eve still holds true today. God’s design for marriage endures.
But Jesus’ enemies came at him from two sides and wanted to know what side he was on. One group of rabbis said you could get a divorce only for religious reasons, like if your wife didn’t wear a veil in church. Another group of rabbis said you could get a divorce for any and every reason, like grilling the lamb roast to a crisp. Jesus said, “I’m not on either side. I’m on God’s side. He designed marriage to be an undivided union.”
So they challenged him, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away!” Jesus replied, “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law, [but it was not this way in the beginning] … Therefore, what God has joined together let man not separate.” Moses did not encourage divorce. He wanted to stem the tide of easy divorce and at the same time prevent mass chaos and disorder. If a hardened sinner had no way out of a marriage bond, he might add to his sin of ruining the marriage something worse, like murder. Because of hardened sinners God told Moses there might be occasion for divorce but only in certain circumstances. Only when one spouse has been unfaithful or deserts the other, can we say that the other spouse has a biblical right to a divorce. That’s why Jesus said, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Yet, even then it is painful for people and for God when a union he intends to be undivided divides.
There is no question that broken marriages cause pain. Just ask those who’ve been through. The pain and loneliness and guilt are hard to overcome. Young people are affected when there is tension in a marriage or when the marriage ends. They feel that that they are at fault when their parents don’t get along, or they might end up disdaining God’s design for marriage and decide to live with someone without being legally married. A number of years ago the government even created a tax category for POSSLQ’s – Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.
What can we do? Whether you are single or married, encourage young people to choose a spouse carefully. Pray for your married friends. Show extra support to the victims of a broken home. Put your arm around a friend who has gone through the pain of divorce and assure that person of Jesus’ love and his power to rebuild and start over. If you are married, pray God for strength to cement your marriage bond. All of this because God’s design for marriage endures. He intends marriage to be an undivided union.
We have one additional reason to thank God for an opportunity to consider his design for marriage. He uses marriage as a picture of the relationship we have with our Savior. We, the church, are his bride. Jesus is the heavenly bridegroom. Whether you are single or married, whether you hope to find life’s partner or whether you have no interest in that at all, whether you are just months removed from your honeymoon or celebrating several decades of marriage, praise our Savior God because he loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:25-27). Jesus is our Groom and pledges us his undying love. That promise will last because above all else God’s design for Christ’s marriage to us endures. Amen.
Preached at Grace Lutheran Church, Milwaukee, WI (www.gracedowntown.org) on October 18, 2009
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