How a Mother Works
The most important family for any of us is the family of God.
The list is long, and always growing. At the top, in capital letters, are two words: MUST REMEMBER.
It’s a deluge of self-imposed demands: Write thank-you letters Buy a new ballet leotard for daughter Emily (blue, not pink) Return call from sister Baby sitter Saturday/Wednesday, pay newspaper bill, volunteer at the library Dentist appointments Return videos to Blockbuster Be nicer, more patient person with daughter so that she doesn’t grow up to be a psychopath.
This is just one of the “must remember” lists compiled by Kate Reddy, the working mother at the heart of Allison Pearson’s best-selling novel I Don’t Know How She Does It (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2002). Multi-tasking mothers have to remember. No one else will. Husbands aren’t much help because if they are asked to hold more than three things in their had at once you can see either smoke starting to puff out of their ears or some kind of glazed substance forming over their eyes – or both.
Jesus’ mom was no different. Mary, too, had a long list in her head the day that she and the family left Jerusalem for Nazareth. With the Passover festival now over, she leaves the navigating for the journey up to Joseph, but her mind races ahead to washing cleaning mending cooking social events caring for children, including her 12-year-old son, Jesus. Whoa! Where’s Jesus? Has anyone seen Jesus? Not here. Not there. Left behind!
The actual search for Jesus had begun casually among his relatives traveling with them from Jerusalem, but then escalated like a mother’s search for the child no longer by her side at the mall. “Okay, retrace my steps, where was my child last with me.” After three days of searching, Joseph and Mary find Jesus back in Jerusalem at the temple. Jesus was sitting among the religious teachers still soaking up the Passover scene. Mary wasn’t impressed. “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
To which Jesus replied, “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” At first glance, Mary’s words make more sense than the response from Jesus. We can understand why she snaps at the boy who goes his own merry way. We can relate to her frustration with a child who just turned the world upside down and acts as if nothing is wrong.
But the real value of this “made-for-Mothers’-Day” Bible event is found in Jesus’ words, not his mother’s. It’s a reminder that our true family is bigger than the nuclear group of our parents and siblings. The most important family for any of us is the family of God. Our “Father’s house” is our one, true home. It’s not a place but an existence, an activity (like the difference between a house and a home). More than a feeling, it’s a faith-based connection to the universal community of all believers we sometimes call “the Holy Christian Church.” Within it we listen and learn, fail, forgive and are forgiven. We teach and question, develop and deepen our relationship with God and one another. This house is more than a temple, more than a congregation, more than a denomination – and more than a mother’s multi-task juggling of everything her child thinks and does.
In this Bible account, Mary just begins to see the plan that God has for Jesus, and to realize that her home is the basic training camp to help prepare Jesus for his role of Servant, Substitute, and Savior. It is important for her to resist the temptation to try to gain control over every moment of every day in his life, and become so obsessed with managing everything that she squeezes the vitality out of her child’s wondrous life.
This is one of the lessons her Son teaches her. And a lesson for parents today. Let go. Have faith. Loosen up. Trust God. Prepare, encourage, and train your child for something bigger than your own family. The worldwide family of God.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, your gracious gift of family has not always been appreciated. We have whined so that our family does things our way. We have ignored the needs of spouse, siblings, and parents in order to pursue less important goals. We have been angry at having to go the extra mile and enact more responsibilities than other family members. We have pouted when we couldn’t find our family’s support. Forgive us, dear Father, and reconcile us to our loved ones. Soothe the wounds caused by family tension, and bring us closer together. Help us to accept our family members as precious in your sight. And lead us to a broader vision of family that realizes true reality and blessedness of our worldwide family of faith. Amen.
Portions of this devotion adapted from “Your Family: How It Works,” (Homiletics, May/June 2003, p. 21)